Money Thing

OMG!  Time just flew by. I didn't even notice that I haven't posted in so long!!!!  I started this post three years ago and never finished until now.  It's been what?  three years?  My son is already in college, just started his 2nd year at a conservatory.  I helped him move into his apartment last month.  Reading my past posts reminded me of the journey my son and I had until he became self sufficient enough that he didn't need me any more when he practiced.  It just happened so naturally which many parents will agree as your child progress, you have fewer things to comment.  Technical parts are done.  When my son plays out of tune, he knows that and fixes it before I can even point it out.  Musically, we are more like exchanging ideas, but he has his own and that makes him unique.  I just watch him grow as a musician:)

Now, below is the post I started three years ago and never finished, but I will, now.

Initially, when your child start taking lessons for the violin, what you spend is for the instrument and supplies needed and the lesson fee.  The lesson fees vary depending on the teacher.  In the suburbs, somewhere between $30-$50/hour and in the big cities like New York, it could cost upward of $100+ is expected.  But as your child progress and seriously considering some sort of conservatory, it really starts to add up.  In my case, it has been financially draining.  We sought after the teacher who lived several states away from us, so commuting and lodging and the lesson fee one weekend a month totaled in close to $1000 and this is not even the conservatory.  It was a private teacher.  This is not very unusual.  Surprisingly, I found out so many are  in similar situations after speaking with other parents who I met at the camps and the competitions.  It really becomes a family affair.  The institutions like the Juilliard pre-college tuition is $9,200 a year and even the Curtis Institute where you are offered free tuition once you are admitted, you still need living expenses if you are from out-of-state.  That could cost you close to $10,000 - $20,000 given that it is located in downtown Philadelphia.

This is not the only thing, though.  The violin and the bow will cost more as your child moves up in size.  My son's former teacher told me he didn't necessarily have to have an expensive violin when he was still in fractional size, but to invest in a quality violin when he is ready for a full size.  His first 1/4 size violin was about $250 from an online shop, 1/2 size about $800 which I posted in the past (Nuener) from a violin shop his teacher knew and 3/4 size $1500  from his teacher which she kept after her daughter grew out of it.  Then I passed it on to one of her students for the same price.  You can see the $$ amount goes up as the size goes up.  This is due to the quality not the size.  This goes for the bow as well.  His first one was about $30, then $150 and $300-400 for the 3/4 size.  Big jump from the first one to the next was because I got him the pernambuco bows versus the brazilwood bow.  This is my own experience purchasing the instruments, but of course, this is not typical or average.  Some people will spend more or less depending on their preference.
Now, talking about a full size violin, I have to admit I made a mistake.  It was really financially difficult time for us when he needed to move on to a full size violin, with monthly expenses for his lesson out of state and other financial circumstances prevented us from saving up for his violin.  So what did I do?  I found a violin on ebay for $250, handmade in China.  I had it shipped and arrived in 7 days.  It came with a bow and a case.  He was happy and it made bigger sounds.  Of course!  It is a bigger violin!  We took it to his teacher who was at a summer camp we were attending.  At the lesson, he basically told me it was a crap, but by then my son was getting used to playing on it and managed to produce decent sounds where his teacher who is used to a very expensive antique violin had a hard time playing on it.  I was so embarrassed that I bought him a "crap".  If your child is a serious student, don't even think about it!!!  But I have to give my son a little bit of credit.  He managed to win a competition at the camp with that ebay violin!  After that,  his teacher must have felt sorry for him, he found my son a patron who still to this day, loans him a quality violin which we will not be able to afford to purchase.  My son is a lucky boy to find someone like that, but usually quality violins can cost anywhere from thousands to millions.  Some antique bows will cost as much as one's house.

It is expensive to raise a violinist, but it is so rewarding if your child is passionate about it, and the door will open if you knock!

To the Parents

If your child is starting the violin, first thing is of course to fit the violin that is appropriate for your child. To figure out the right size is of course most important. It is best you consult with your child's teacher, but the ball park figure is when a child put the violin under his/her chin, the end of the scroll reaches the wrist. You don't want the violin too big for him/her which makes it hard to handle the instrument. There are 1/32, 1/16, 1/8, 1/4, 1/2, 3/4 and finally the full size.

First time my son started, I rented one from the teacher with a 1/4 size, but soon I realized that since he was really into playing it, it was better for me to purchase one. I bought it from the internet. Luckly, it was decent and he used it without any trouble until he moved on to a 1/2 size. If you have stores close by, I will highly recommend you take your child and have him/her try several different ones.

I will also recommend you get a ebony fitting which means that the fingerboard and pegs are made of real ebony not other wood material painted black. To my understanding, that the ebony is hard wood so it last longer without being scraped through repetitive fingers shifting back and forth.

It is also important that you tune your strings. There are four strings. The thickest string is G and the next thickest is D and then A and E. You can use a electric tuner or pitch pipe to tune it. After awhile, a child should be able to tune it without the help of the device.

Another thing you may want to get is a shoulder rest. Some people prefer not to use one, but if your child's neck is long, you might want to consider getting one. It is a device you hook under your violin so that the violin is comfortably held under your chin.

My son used Kun Collapsible which you can fold the legs to fit into your case. You may want to try a few different brands since they all have slightly different settings.

After my son moved on to a 1/2 size, he started using Wolf Forte shoulder rest. He liked it a lot. Then when he moved to 3/4 and a full size, he started using Kun Bravo which is lighter than the former and he continues to use it as of now.

The bow usually comes with a violin if you are purchasing an outfit. But if you are buying separately, make sure the bow hair is made of horse hair. There are also different types. Brazil wood bow, Perambuco bow and composite bow.

When your child is young, you may want to consider composite bow since it is very durable.

Then finally the last but not least you need is a rosin. This is a must if you want to make a sound out of your violin. You need to rub this ample of amount when you use your bow for the first time. This makes the bow make friction with the strings and the sound comes out of your violin. My son uses Andrea rosin and he swears by it. I saw a video clip (3:17) of Anne Sophie Mutter using it.

Now You have everything your child needs to start to make some music!

To the Parents

I just started thinking. What could I contribute to the parents whose kids are studying music? As a mother of three children who studies different instruments, it may be small but I can share some insight, I think...

The reason I started my kids to learn instruments is that I love music, and I wanted my kids to love it, too. I was working at the day care my children attended and was not satisfied with the music education they were receiving. They sing and listen to CDs the teachers play. That was it. In Japan where I grew up, we had at least once or twice of music class and started to learn how to play harmonicas at 1st and 2nd grades and move on to recorders, xylophones and other instruments at the upper grades. By the time you are 5th or 6th grade, you can at least read some easy musical notes (do re mi). This was not even at a conservatory. This was taught in regular public schools.

Then my quest for the private music lesson started. First, I asked my two older children who were around 6 and 4 at the time which instrument they wanted to learn. My youngest was still a baby so he didn't start until he was 3. My oldest said "violin" my middle one said "piano".

I have never really listen to classical music at will growing up. I took some piano lessons for about 5 years when I was about ten until fifteen, but really never was aware whose music I was playing. I just enjoyed what I was playing. That was it.

So my son wanted to learn how to play violin. I have seen a violin, but didn't even know how many strings there were on it nor you have to tune it to play, but first thing first, I started to look for a teacher.

I went to a local music studio where they teach many different instruments. I asked the guy at the front who was the owner of the studio, if they were teaching violin. His reply was that kids, especially young children, think playing the violin is cool and start the lesson, then realize how hard it is to play and drop out in most cases. So he recommended my son started from piano and later when he is old, he can learn the violin if he is still interested in.

Not knowing anything, I took his words and signed both children for the piano lessons. They had different teachers since I wanted both of the take lessons at the same time every week. My daughter was doing fine, but my son hated it. The teacher wanted him to read the music, but remember he is 6 years old and just started to read English. He was so confused and felt he was not smart. I tried to help him, but he just started getting angry each time he practiced. My instinct kicked in and had him withdraw from the lesson within two months. I loved piano and I didn't want him to hate it.

Then I consulted his homeroom teacher. I told her he wanted to learn how to play violin, but was told he was too young at a music studio. She told me that she knew a friend who teaches violin and her son was the same age as my son and has been playing the violin since he was 3. She promised me that she would contact her on our behalf. Next thing I knew my son's teacher arranged the violin teacher to come to school and whoever is interested in could sign up for the group lesson!

I am forever grateful to her for that.

I don't want this post to be too long, so I will continue with the next post where I left off, but sometimes you have to trust your motherly instinct when it comes to a right fit. Does he/she really enjoy it? Especially when they are young, if they don't like it, it won't last and will be a battle to have him/her practice.

Balancing Act

This is to express my opinion and hopefully to help others who are in the similar situations. When your child gets some performing opportunities which my son did quite a lot for the last two years and he was fortunate to be able to experience performing with some great orchestras and people. Said that if I could go back in time, there are some changes I could have made.

When your child is still in the process of learning it is sooooo important that the performances will have less impact on his/her current instrument studies. In other words, if he/she is preparing for the performance, everything is focused on that and put a stop to his/her current repertoire studies. Therefore, my son has smaller repertoire than I would him to have. He should've had more by now, but because of the performances, he would revisit the pieces and practice those he had to perform and that gave him less time on the pieces he was working on.

It is an opportunity hard to pass on when the orchestra calls you and want your child to perform, but we as parents really need to pick and choose if it is a right timing, right opportunity and sometimes we need to have courage to say "No" if it is too much for a child. This is a fine line and different with every child. Only you know your child the best and I have to tell myself at times "There will be another opportunity." I'd rather give my son some time to develop his skills right now and we'll go from there when the time is right.

Finally he came back!!

After six long weeks, my son finally came back home! Well, to be precise, we brought him home. His hair was over grown, bushy and nappy, but he had a nice tan. All the other kids are outside waiting to be either picked up by their parents or seeing others off until the vans take them to the city. Some are already crying:( We could tell they had so much fun and formed strong friendship with one another.

In the car, he was very quiet and not taking to us at all. We asked him what was wrong and his reply was "I miss the camp!!!!!" As soon as he said that he started receiving text messages right and left.

I knew deep down he loves music, but in a small town like ours, he had no one to really share his passion. Most of the kids at his school are more into sports than music. It was really a lonely thing for him, but now he had founds new friends who can totally relate to each other and joke about the things only they'll "get it".

This is a new chapter in his life. We'll have a new teacher upon encouragement from his current teacher. His teacher's busy touring schedule and the distance between us just won't allow them to work in most efficient way. I knew it was coming, but I am grateful that his teacher really genuinely think of my son's future and this is the best thing for him. Weekly lessons will really get him to the next level, hopefully. With his newly found motivation and enthusiasm, I am optimistic.

Where is my son??

My son left for the 6-week summer camp up north in mid June. This was the first time he participated in a camp by himself. I've been always with him till last year. A couple of mini vans were to pick up the students at the assigned location in the city and drive them to the camp sight. We decided to get to the pick-up location bit early just in case we got lost, but about 10 students were already there chatting away. It seemed like everyone knew each other. One boy whom my son met at a competition was there and he greeted my son with a big smile, then went right back into the conversation with others. My son on the other hand, usually a social guy, but shy in the beginning, can't seem to get into the conversation. I tried to nudge him into the group, but he wouldn't go for it. Then a older boy approached me and introduced himself who turned out to be one of the teaching assistants. (He wasn't a boy, he was a grown man with a baby face:)) He assured me that he was going to take good care of my son. I was somewhat relieved knowing that even if he doesn't make friends, at least he has his counselor by him. Soon everyone started boarding. Of course my son was the last one to get in and all the way in the back by himself.....

My heart was aching worrying if he's gonna be ok without me......

I was completely wrong. That night, he called me to let me know he safely made it to the camp talking to his roommates in between like they've known each other for ages.

Then..... he stopped calling us. I tried to text him - no response. I left him a message - no response. Finally, guilt trip texting paid off. "I don't hear from you any more. I don't know if you are alive or dead. r u ok?" He responded "fine". That's it!?!?

After a few days of that very detailed:) text response, I finally got to talk to him. I could hear his roommates in the back ground laughing, talking loud, etc. My son said "Mom, I am having so much fun, I don't wanna go home." He said they've been watching a lot of Youtube videos by many different classical artists at night, talking about chamber music pieces they were working on. He sounded tired, but happy. No wonder I don't hear from him. He is having a life of his time sharing the love of music with his new friends who can relate to one another:)

It's gonna be so hard to track him down, but at least I know what he is doing when I don't hear from him.

Slump...................

It is not entirely my son's fault. He hasn't been able to see his teacher for nearly two months due to his (teacher's) busy schedule. Meanwhile, he has been working on a couple of new pieces and a few of the ongoing ones, but he needs someone to kick his butt time to time (who is not me...:))

There are limits to what I can do for him. First of all, I don't play the violin! My ears are pretty good for spotting intonation issues, but not perfect. I have two other children who need my assistance. Therefore I cannot keep an eye on him all the time. When I am at work I am not sure how many real hours he put in for practicing. All I can do is to believe what he says.

I am getting a little tired of having arguing matches with him. He is probably hitting a full blown teenage mode. He has excuses to do just the opposite for everything I tell him to do or not to do.

Well, he created the system of practicing 50 minutes and take 10 minute break in between practices, but the thing is yeah, say he does 50 minutes of practicing, but it is never a 10 minute break. It will be more like 50 minute break in between. I don't mind it if we had 48 hours in a day, but he has homework to do, he needs to eat. It is just simply impossible to take that long of breaks.

I just can't wait for him to have a lesson next month (finally!!!!). Hopefully his teacher will give him a loud wake-up call:)